Why do people get angry when others fail to understand?

[dimreepr]

When reading this thread I started to wonder why it matters so much that what we see as correct information should be digested and understood.

 

Shortly after xytz suffered an emotional meltdown in this thread.

 

The level of knowledge seems to make little difference, so why is it reasonable to expect others to understand what I do?

 

Maybe the anger comes from a need to control others or maybe it comes from the illusion that knowledge equals understanding.

[studiot]

It can be frustrating when one side refuses to engage in discussion and wants to be the only shop open on the block.

 

So unfortunately even if we all modelled ourselves on ajb it would not work.

 

He has many customers on whom his extreme patience is wasted.

[dimreepr]

So unfortunately even if we all modelled ourselves on ajb it would not work.

 

 

Why not?

 

He has many customers on whom his extreme patience is wasted.

 

 

 

I agree that ajb shows patience and maybe that patience is wasted on some, but his patience shows that anger is not inevitable; maybe it shows understanding ones knowledge is key in accepting that lack in others.

[StringJunky]

Patience is acquired, not born; it's a skill. When it comes to educational dissemination, empathy for the ignorance and naivete of others is as important as knowledge. You can't teach if you can't speak in the language of the listener.

[Phi for All]

There are some arguments to avoid, we all know that. Creationism vs Evolution is a prime example. When one side tries to argue the science without learning the science, they don't even know what they don't know. If you're involved in a discussion with a person like that, you just have to walk away. The guy who reads three pages in his Relativity textbook, slams it shut, and now claims Einstein is Wrong! is never going to understand why you think he's wrong. If he could have, he'd never have started the thread.

 

I wish people would save the emotion for appropriate situations. It almost always seems to cloud good judgement when applied to science. Some folks previously mentioned have a great deal of knowledge in certain areas, but can't miss an opportunity to take offense at someone else's ignorance, and make it even worse with open hostility. Oddly, I've seen many posts where someone who was right gets hostile about it and ends up making a mistake that gets noticed by others. Anger-clouded judgement is often poor, and sets up poor behavior and actions. Nothing stops a discussion's progress faster than raised defenses.

 

When you know you're right, I think that's the time to be the most civil. Being hostile to someone who fails to understand you is kind of a signal that your position isn't as strong as you think.

[studiot]

 

Oddly, I've seen many posts where someone who was right gets hostile about it and ends up making a mistake that gets noticed by others.

 

I raise my hand in admission of this sin, yer 'onor.

Edited May 18, 2015 by studiot

[Delta1212]

Anger is what we feel towards perceived obstacles to what we want that we can't figure out a way to get around. If you want someone to understand you, or to admit that you are right, or just agree with you, and they refuse to do so despite your best efforts, they become an obstacle to that goal that you can't seem to get past.

 

The trick to avoiding getting angry is either to divorce yourself from attachment to that articular goal (if you talk yourself out of caring whether someone else understands what you are talking about, there is no longer anything to get angry with) or else focus on other ways that you can try to reach your goal. Anger is what you hit when you've exhausted all other avenues that you can think of. If you are good at thinking of other avenues, or even just at convincing yourself that other avenues to your goal will eventually open up if you just wait long enough, then anger becomes superfluous and is easier to control.

[Phi for All]

 

I raise my hand in admission of this sin, yer 'onor.

 

You're more patient than most. I see you making the effort to set up your responses so you lead a person to understanding rather than beating them with the Stick of Knowledge. You ask questions rather than pontificate, and perhaps that's what we all need to do more often.

[swansont]

I think there's a difference between being brusque when someone asks a question, and when someone asks the same reworded question, over and over again.

[Delta1212]

I think there's a difference between being brusque when someone asks a question, and when someone asks the same reworded question, over and over again.

 

Fundamentally, they are just presenting a seemingly insurmountable obstacle to your goal of not being asked that same god damn question one more time.

[Klaynos]

It can seem to some that people are not even bothering to take the time to read and think about the responses. That can be quite upsetting for the people spending the time writing the replies.

[swansont]

It can seem to some that people are not even bothering to take the time to read and think about the responses. That can be quite upsetting for the people spending the time writing the replies.

 

Especially when they double down and claim their question has not been addressed.

 

There are times when it seems posters are fishing for answers which agree with their preconceptions or agenda, and anything contrary is ignored.

[StringJunky]

..There are times when it seems posters are fishing for answers which agree with their preconceptions or agenda, and anything contrary is ignored.

Speculation in the guise of a question. This type is especially annoying because it starts with a deceit, unless explicitly stated otherwise which it rarely is. It puts responders in the wrong starting mode for answering. I think when people do this they are trying to avoid, initially anyway, the sharp critical analysis that comes with presenting an obvious speculation

Edited May 18, 2015 by StringJunky

[michael7858]

Why do people get angry when they themselves don't understand?