The Official JOKES SECTION :)

[Moontanman]

https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/102592208660177072021/photos/photo/111273953323011908818/6469085285026238210

 

A gif, I couldn't get it to display.. 

Edited September 23, 2017 by Moontanman

[Itoero]

I tried to put 'penis' as password but it's too short.

[Sriman Dutta]

Fill in the blanks:

f__k

s_x

boo_s

p_n_s

 

 

 

Here's the answers: fork,six,boots,pants.

How many of you got them correctly ??

[Itoero]

I got a fine of 60 euro for peeing outdoor. But I payed 100 euro because I had to take a shit as well.

[Silvestru]

I miss having a Billy on this forum  

[DrP]

What do alcoholic Nazis do?......  

 

 

......Seek Ale!

[Silvestru]

22 minutes ago, DrP said:

What do alcoholic Nazis do?......  

 

......Seek Ale!

I don't get it   (I hope the reply won't be: But your mum sure does.)

[DrP]

3 minutes ago, Silvestru said:

I don't get it   

"Sieg hail"  Was a Nazi chant.  It meant 'Hail Victory' I think. It sounds the same as 'seek ale'   Ale is beer - an alcoholic beverage.

6 minutes ago, Silvestru said:

(I hope the reply won't be: But your mum sure does.)

Ha ha ha - No, but last night though!...  ;-) - just kidding - your mum is too hairy for me and her claws and teeth are too sharp.

[Silvestru]

1 minute ago, DrP said:

"Sieg hail"  Was a Nazi chant.  It meant 'Hail Victory' I think. It sounds the same as 'seek ale'  

Aaah  sorry I'm a bit slow in the morning. Plus I am not as familiar as you with Nazi chants so I had no chance to get it  

You learn something new every day.

[dimreepr]

How do you confuse a Daily Mail reader?

Tell them, the natural diet of an asylum seeker is paedophiles...

[geordief]

24 minutes ago, dimreepr said:

How do you confuse a Daily Mail reader?

Tell them, the natural diet of an asylum seeker is paedophiles...

that's an unnatural diet.

[dimreepr]

44 minutes ago, geordief said:

that's an unnatural diet.

I'm guessing you read the Daily Mail...

[zapatos]

What did the British particle physicist say when he got accepted to work at LHC? SMASHING!

[koti]

Thought I'd make a vaccine meme. Hope you like it.

[Itoero]

[Daedalus]

[Daedalus]

Bilbos Danny!!! I said Bilbos!!!

[koti]

Here's an old Bridge joke from the time when I was learning to play Bridge in late 80's:

Two couples met on a Friday night to play Bridge. The next morning one husband calls the other and says:
1 - Buddy, I'm sorry I have to say this to you but we were missing money after last night.
2 - Oh man, are you seriously considering we took your money?!
1 - Naw, we found the money but the bad taste is still there.

[Phi for All]

2 hours ago, koti said:

Two couples met on a Friday night to play Bridge. The next morning one husband calls the other and says:
1 - Buddy, I'm sorry I have to say this to you but we were missing money after last night.
2 - Oh man, are you seriously considering we took your money?!
1 - Naw, we found the money but the bad taste is still there.

Nice, very subtle. Reminds me of some of the Yiddish jokes I've heard, where the punch line is very low-key.

 

A man goes to visit his aged father and finds him in front of the television.

Son: "Hey Poppa, what're you doing?"

Dad: "Watching basketball."

Son: "What's the score?"

Dad: "86 to 82."

Son: "Who's winning?"

Dad: "86."

[koti]

[John Cuthber]

That's a little bit frightening, and (perhaps unexpectedly) about 40 years too late.

[Daedalus]

[Itoero]

Why do orkanes get female names? At fist they are wild and wet but finally they take your house.

Edited December 12, 2017 by Itoero

[koti]

Tom Morello was the guitarist in „Rage against the Maschine” and „Audioslave”

 

[Moontanman]

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/48695239701720712/

Edited December 16, 2017 by Moontanman