JayTony Posted April 3, 2021 Posted April 3, 2021 On 8/30/2020 at 8:06 PM, joigus said: Which actually goes to prove that you mustn't take anything literally. How many hours a day do you spend looking for your glasses ?
joigus Posted April 8, 2021 Posted April 8, 2021 On 4/3/2021 at 10:12 AM, JayTony said: How many hours a day do you spend looking for your glasses ? Not hours; minutes. But many. Why? For all crackpots out there: https://www.gapingvoidart.com/ 2
JayTony Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 22 hours ago, joigus said: Not hours; minutes. But many. Why? For all crackpots out there: https://www.gapingvoidart.com/ An attempt at humor since your profile photo displays your glasses on top of your head, every time I see ya. 1
joigus Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 2 minutes ago, JayTony said: An attempt at humor since your profile photo displays your glasses on top of your head, every time I see ya. Now I understand! Those are cycling glasses, by the way.
joigus Posted April 13, 2021 Posted April 13, 2021 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Cheney_(cartoonist)
Moontanman Posted April 13, 2021 Posted April 13, 2021 A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?” She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?” “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.” Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.” “Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba". 3
MonDie Posted April 20, 2021 Posted April 20, 2021 Pregnant Woman: I might have to abort my own child. Radical Pro-Lifer: I might have to kill (liberal people) to save the fetuses. They updated their translation of Exodus. On 4/13/2021 at 2:30 PM, Moontanman said: I can't find it. Is that one of those modern translation? Best wishes.
beecee Posted April 23, 2021 Posted April 23, 2021 A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: ” Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty.. You’re crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking BA,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!” “BA?” exclaimed the hairdresser.. ” That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?” “We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome ‘s Tiber River called Teste.” “Don’t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.” “We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.” “That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it…” A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome “It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of BA’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a £5 million remodelling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!” “Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I bet you didn’t get to see the Pope.” “Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me” “Oh, really! What’d he say ?” He said: “Who the Fuck did your hair?” 4
joigus Posted April 26, 2021 Posted April 26, 2021 (edited) If Watson isn't the most famous doctor ever, then Who is. ------------------------- Meanwhile in Salzburg... Edited April 26, 2021 by joigus 2
Moontanman Posted April 27, 2021 Posted April 27, 2021 (edited) Edited April 27, 2021 by Moontanman 1
iNow Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 2 hours ago, Moontanman said: Don’t laugh too hard if you have asthma, but when I eat too many chilies it’s plasma 1
Phi for All Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 On 4/27/2021 at 7:35 PM, iNow said: Don’t laugh too hard if you have asthma, but when I eat too many chilies it’s plasma That's not all that Horton hears when you have chilies, cheese, and beers. You butt was never meant for spam, Mexican, green eggs, and ham. 1
beecee Posted May 8, 2021 Posted May 8, 2021 80's Aussie TV........this was supposed to be for children entitles "Cartoon Corner" Obviously out takes. 1
JayTony Posted May 8, 2021 Posted May 8, 2021 (edited) Reporter: What's the first thing you need in order to split the atom? Scientist: A fission licence . Edited May 8, 2021 by JayTony
JayTony Posted May 9, 2021 Posted May 9, 2021 (edited) Happy Mother's Day ! A mom forgives us all our faults, not to mention one or two we don't even have . Robert Breault Edited May 9, 2021 by JayTony
beecee Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 Question: Why don't blind people bungee jump? Answer: Because it scares the fuck out of the dog. 2
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