The Official JOKES SECTION :)

[swansont]

38 minutes ago, beecee said:

Question: Why don't blind people bungee jump?

 

 

 

 

Answer: Because it scares the fuck out of the dog.

Skydiving works here, too.

 

”I never knew dogs could scream!”

[Phi for All]

52 minutes ago, beecee said:

Question: Why don't blind people bungee jump?

 

 

 

 

Answer: Because it scares the fuck out of the dog.

13 minutes ago, swansont said:

Skydiving works here, too.

 

”I never knew dogs could scream!”

At least they'd know right before they hit, when the tension goes out of the leash.

 

[joigus]

To think how many dogs have had to put up with this shit...

Last joke for today...

[zapatos]

1 hour ago, joigus said:

That clock wouldn't work no matter how she put it up.

[beecee]

On 5/8/2021 at 3:49 PM, beecee said:

Confession time...I actually plagiarised that dog joke from here.....at the 3 minute mark 😉

 

 

 

Edited May 13, 2021 by beecee

[joigus]

10 hours ago, zapatos said:

That clock wouldn't work no matter how she put it up.

Doesn't look like a very functional clock, does it? But still, when in Rome do as the Romans do.

[Moontanman]

5 hours ago, joigus said:

Doesn't look like a very functional clock, does it? But still, when in Rome do as the Romans do.

A friend of mine had a novelty clock that ran backwards. 

[joigus]

2 hours ago, Moontanman said:

A friend of mine had a novelty clock that ran backwards. 

I think I've seen one of those somewhere.

[Moontanman]

26 minutes ago, joigus said:

I think I've seen one of those somewhere.

It was a mirror image of a real clock much like the one in the joke photo. 

[zapatos]

Why is the number '6' on a clock face oriented right-side up when using Arabic numerals...

 

...but upside down when using Roman numerals?

[StringJunky]

43 minutes ago, zapatos said:

Why is the number '6' on a clock face oriented right-side up when using Arabic numerals...

 

...but upside down when using Roman numerals?

My guess is that the earliest clocks were sun dials and laid flat. You can walk around a sun dial.

Edited May 13, 2021 by StringJunky

[Phi for All]

1 hour ago, zapatos said:

Why is the number '6' on a clock face oriented right-side up when using Arabic numerals...

...but upside down when using Roman numerals?

Because you'd be later if you confused a 9 with a 6 than you'd be if you confused a XI with an IX. 

[joigus]

On 5/13/2021 at 9:47 PM, zapatos said:

Why is the number '6' on a clock face oriented right-side up when using Arabic numerals...

 

...but upside down when using Roman numerals?

Because ancient Romans didn't quite know where the hell they were? LOL

[Phi for All]

13 hours ago, joigus said:

Because ancient Romans didn't quite know where the hell they were? LOL

"Ahh, but we knew EXACTLY how fast we were going." -- Heisenbergus

[joigus]

Which one is the right cathode-anode polarity?

[ahmet]

1 hour ago, joigus said:

Which one is the right cathode-anode polarity?

I think non -sexual ideas seems better  or unisex pahaha. 

therefore ,both or none of these is correct  

with high volume of cheerings,

best cheers

Edited May 23, 2021 by ahmet

[dimreepr]

10 minutes ago, ahmet said:

I think non -sexual ideas seems better  or unisex pahaha. 

therefore ,both or none of these is correct  

with high volume of cheerings,

best cheers

Is that a joke?

[ahmet]

5 minutes ago, dimreepr said:

Is that a joke?

mmm both yes and no    

[joigus]

22 minutes ago, ahmet said:

I think non -sexual ideas seems better  or unisex pahaha. 

No sex implied.  It was a joke-quiz. Both the joke and the quiz are pretty lame. It's easy if you google. The thing is whether you can retrieve it from your long-term memory without looking at the real logo.

[ahmet]

13 minutes ago, joigus said:

No sex implied.  It was a joke-quiz. Both the joke and the quiz are pretty lame. It's easy if you google. The thing is whether you can retrieve it from your long-term memory without looking at the real logo.

but catode and anode stimulates me to think so. sorry really if this is my failure. 

meanwhile, it perfectly seems like I have been degreeded in this joke sequence

Edited May 23, 2021 by ahmet
wrong spelling

[MigL]

Personally, and regardless of sex, I think it should be a rectifier between the AC and the DC.
But if I had suggested that when they were still together, Angus would have hit me over the head with his guitar.

[dimreepr]

11 minutes ago, MigL said:

Personally, and regardless of sex, I think it should be a rectifier between the AC and the DC.
But if I had suggested that when they were still together, Angus would have hit me over the head with his guitar.

The less informed you are, the better the joke...

 

[Moontanman]

I was going to get my mail a couple days ago and a couple misguided youths had placed a (very realistic) rubber rattlesnake in the sidewalk to the mailboxes. They rolled out of a car across the parking lots reveling in laughter saying "you might be white headed but you still have the moves!" I must admit I found a few old moves real fast.

[ahmet]

3 hours ago, dimreepr said:

The less informed you are, the better the joke...

 

    

[beecee]

1 hour ago, Moontanman said:

I was going to get my mail a couple days ago and a couple misguided youths had placed a (very realistic) rubber rattlesnake in the sidewalk to the mailboxes. They rolled out of a car across the parking lots reveling in laughter saying "you might be white headed but you still have the moves!" I must admit I found a few old moves real fast.

When I was a young bloke, I was walking/waddling home early one morning [about 0200hrs] after a night out on the piss. Walking up my drive way i walked into a spiders web, and in my efforts to shake off any spider [I forgot to mention, I hate spiders and creepy crawlies] woke the neighbourhood up with my screams and swearing and jumping up and down, for them to see a pissed, half naked man. Not sure I would have acted any different even if sober! 😛