The Official JOKES SECTION :)

[studiot]

Item on today's News  (quizz)

 

On account of the extensive space junk layer about the Earth, only 37% of prayers are now getting through.

[mistermack]

[Genady]

(From The New Yorker of October 23)

[Moontanman]

[iNow]

Vehicle in background should be a raised pickup with knob tires filthy from a recent muddin trip

[studiot]

 

Why not half past ten ?

 

 

 

[TheVat]

Heisenberg is driving down the highway when he is pulled over by the state patrol.

 "Excuse me, sir, did you know you were going at 87 mph?"
 

Heisenberg: "Oh great. Now I'm lost!"

[Moontanman]

I had a doctor with a sense of humor once, scared the living shit out of me with a cast saw. He was a catbird for sure. 

 

 

Edited November 8, 2023 by Moontanman

[Moontanman]

[TheVat]

Some northern German company bought that brand recently.  They say now it will be made from Hamburgers.

[CharonY]

This is so bad. +1

[Moontanman]

[Externet]

Chinglish...

[studiot]

There I was, browsing for a new telephone.

 

So here is the unexpected humerous example that the elementary AI algorithm offered me

Why it thinks that folks frequently buy washing powder and plastic plants along with a telephone I can't imagine.

But it is amusing.

 

[geordief]

9 minutes ago, studiot said:

There I was, browsing for a new telephone.

 

So here is the unexpected humerous example that the elementary AI algorithm offered me

Why it thinks that folks frequently buy washing powder and plastic plants along with a telephone I can't imagine.

But it is amusing.

 

A phone in the house  used to be a status symbol- think Hyacinth Bouquet (I never got a phone until  I was in my 50s -still awkward with them )

And you do have to keep them clean.You should see my remote control.

Edited November 16, 2023 by geordief

[TheVat]

2 hours ago, studiot said:

unexpected humerous example

It struck the funny bone then?

[studiot]

35 minutes ago, TheVat said:

It struck the funny bone then?

+1

[Moontanman]

[TheVat]

I always wonder if Uranus jokes will ever get old.  And then I laugh at the next one that appears.  So, short answer: No.

 

[StringJunky]

On 11/16/2023 at 12:18 PM, geordief said:

A phone in the house  used to be a status symbol- think Hyacinth Bouquet (I never got a phone until  I was in my 50s -still awkward with them )

And you do have to keep them clean.You should see my remote control.

Hyacinth Bucket. Pronounced 'Bukkit'. 

[Moontanman]

So many jokes here I'll let you guys make them out! 

[mistermack]

[Moontanman]

 

[iNow]

Label the States

Even with a blank map, a lot of people can only name 45-50 of the 64 states.

[sethoflagos]

1 hour ago, iNow said:

Label the States

Even with a blank map, a lot of people can only name 45-50 of the 64 states.

That looks like an awful lot of Dakotas.