The Official JOKES SECTION :)

[Moontanman]

[Moontanman]

There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people understand this.

[TheVat]

I find jokes like that to be divisive.

[Moontanman]

[Moontanman]

I have a friend that writes songs about sewing machines. She’s a Singer songwriter or sew it seams

[Mordred]

Confucius says, "It is only when a mosquito lands on your balls, that there is a way to solve problems without violence"

[geordief]

1 hour ago, Mordred said:

Confucius says, "It is only when a mosquito lands on your balls, that there is a way to solve problems without violence"

If only the same could be said of ticks(on the bell end).

[Moontanman]

7 minutes ago, geordief said:

If only the same could be said of ticks(on the bell end).

There is a spider for that. 

Sorry about all my oil puns. They were crude. I promise to be more refined.

[Phi for All]

2 hours ago, Moontanman said:

Sorry about all my oil puns. They were crude. I promise to be more refined.

You slippery types know the drill and rig the system so it pans out well for you. It's a viscous cycle!

[TheVat]

3 hours ago, Phi for All said:

You slippery types know the drill and rig the system so it pans out well for you. It's a viscous cycle!

  Sometimes slick jokes are a way to drum up support.  

[Moontanman]

I heard that physicists only have five jokes...

[Phi for All]

57 minutes ago, Moontanman said:

I heard that physicists only have five jokes...

#5 -- Einstein developed a theory about space. It was about time, too!

[Moontanman]

2 minutes ago, Phi for All said:

#5 -- Einstein developed a theory about space. It was about time, too!

At least three of them are funny! 

[Moontanman]

The constipated composer tried and tried but he couldn't finish the last movement.

[Moontanman]

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[John Cuthber]

13 hours ago, Moontanman said:

The constipated composer tried and tried but he couldn't finish the last movement.

He sought the advice of a mathematician who told him to work it out with a pencil.

[TheVat]

The musician finally gave up and began to erase all the lines of notes.   His wife walked into the room and asked, "what is that smell?" 

"I'm decomposing," he replied.

[TheVat]

A couple of cannibals are sitting around, and one says:

“I don’t like my brother-in-law very much.”

The other one responds, “Then just eat the noodles."

 

 

When I entered high school, I got my sister's hand-me-down calculator that didn't have a multiplication button.

Times were hard back then.

 

 

Edited April 23 by TheVat

[Phi for All]

21 hours ago, TheVat said:

A couple of cannibals are sitting around, and one says:

“I don’t like my brother-in-law very much.”

The other one responds, “Then just eat the noodles."

To which the first retorts, "Easy for you to say, when your wife makes such good soup!"

[Moontanman]

[cladking]

On 3/26/2024 at 11:56 AM, MSC said:

The earliest examples being pyramids. It doesn't take much to understand that a low entropy stucture like a pyramid will withstand the test of time far longer than an obelisk will. 

Actually the Great Pyramid is just the tip of an obelisk. 

[MSC]

1 hour ago, cladking said:

Actually the Great Pyramid is just the tip of an obelisk. 

.... Im not even mad. That point is so good that Vlad the impaler wants to stick a rebllious peasant on it. 

I wonder if the Egyptians ever had the saying "Thats just the tip of the obelisk! 

I can almost picture the conversation now. 

Egyptian 1: Man obelisks are so hard to build. I wish it could be simpler. Doing the top is so dangerous.

Egyptian 2: Oh my Ra! What if we built an obelisk, that is all top?!

Egyptian 1: Let me get by chisel!

[TheVat]

A handsome and muscular man walks into a bar, opens up his backpack, and sets out on the counter a tiny man and a miniature piano of compatible size.  The tiny man begins to play, with great skill.

That's amazing, says the bartender.  Where did you find him?

A genie in an old bottle gave him to me, says the man.  I had three wishes.  The first two were good looks and immortality, and those were provided - today is my 157th birthday.  

The man sips his beer and looks sadly over at his tiny companion.  Unfortunately, says the man, the genie didn't hear me clearly on the third wish so instead of my actual request he gave me a 12 inch pianist.  

[StringJunky]

On 4/7/2024 at 3:27 PM, TheVat said:

I find jokes like that to be divisive.

And it can only multiply.

[Phi for All]

5 hours ago, StringJunky said:

And it can only multiply.

In addition, I dislike subtraction so much I'll stop at nothing to avoid negative numbers.