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The Official JOKES SECTION :)


YT2095

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6 hours ago, swansont said:

Every year homeopathy doesn’t win a chemistry Nobel, the dilution increases, boosting its chances of winning.

When I'm tired, I like jokes that require less concentration.

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7 hours ago, swansont said:

Every year homeopathy doesn’t win a chemistry Nobel, the dilution increases, boosting its chances of winning

... albeit only logarithmically.

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On 10/11/2024 at 6:49 AM, StringJunky said:

All mushrooms are edible.
Some only once.

Is that Terry Pratchett?  Sounds like him.  

On a different (lower) plane of humour:

With the passing of Mitzi Gaynor, I am reminded of this knock knock joke...

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Sam and Janet.
Sam and Janet who?
(sings): Sam and Janet Evening...

Edited by TheVat
missing thingie
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This joke isn't science related but it made me laugh and others when I told them.

It also isn't my joke, I wish I could take credit for it but I can't.

 

A saleswoman calls a household and a little boy answers it.

He whispers "Hello? Who's that?"

The saleswoman replies " I'm calling on behalf of my company, can I speak to your mum please?"

The little boy again whispers "No, she's busy"

So the saleswoman asks if she can speak to his dad.

The little boy again whispers "No, he's busy too"

A little confused, the saleswoman asks if there are any other adults in the house she can speak to.

Once again the little boy whispers "Yes the firemen but they're busy too"

The saleswoman is becoming concerned now and asks if there are any other adults in the house.

The little boy yet again whispers "Yes the police but they're busy too"

The saleswoman doesn't know what to think or who to ask for to speak to, so asks the little boy what they are all busy doing.

The little boy again whispers "They're trying to find me"

Edited by Imagine Everything
typo
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Hmm.  So...the boy is hiding where the house's landline is located, and that's in a place where trained personnel can't find you and no one hears the ring.  I so want this joke to work, but...

 

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5 hours ago, TheVat said:

Hmm.  So...the boy is hiding where the house's landline is located, and that's in a place where trained personnel can't find you and no one hears the ring.  I so want this joke to work, but...

 

Give the boy  a cell phone instead of a landline if that helps lol

Edited by Mordred
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I went to a costume party at a bar last weekend. I dressed up as a harp.

When I walked into the bar, the bartender said, "Hey, what are you supposed to be?"

I said, "I'm a harp."

He said, " You're way to small to be a harp."

I said, "Are you calling me a lyre?"

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1 hour ago, TheVat said:

I went to a costume party at a bar last weekend. I dressed up as a harp.

When I walked into the bar, the bartender said, "Hey, what are you supposed to be?"

I said, "I'm a harp."

He said, " You're way to small to be a harp."

I said, "Are you calling me a lyre?"

I lost my harp in Sam Frank's disco 

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  • 2 weeks later...

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