Daedalus Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Are you having a bad day at work? Well, then read this: It could be worse... 4
Pozessed Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Person A: What is a mouse that can talk?Person B: A talking mouse???Person A: No mickey.Person A: What do you call a duck with 2 legs? Person B: Donald!!Person A: Nope, all ducks have 2 legs. duh. Say milk 3 times as fast as you can.What do cows drink?
Daedalus Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Now this is how you scare the crap out of someone!!! 6
Pozessed Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 You think English is easy? 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.http://www.tickld.com/x/english-isnt-as-easy-as-you-think 1
michel123456 Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 I believe the image shows a fire, not a meteorological phenomenon. The policeman (or fireman) & the photographer are on the good side, with the wind back. The other ones at the horizon are in trouble. -1
Spyman Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 I believe the image shows a fire, not a meteorological phenomenon. The policeman (or fireman) & the photographer are on the good side, with the wind back. The other ones at the horizon are in trouble.Yes and that's probably why the image says: "hazmat incident" and not something else. Dangerous goods are solids, liquids, or gases that can harm people, other living organisms, property, or the environment. They are often subject to chemical regulations. In the United States and sometimes in Canada, dangerous goods are more commonly known as hazardous materials, (abbreviated as HAZMAT or HazMat). "HazMat teams" are personnel specially trained to handle dangerous goods. Dangerous goods include materials that are radioactive, flammable, explosive, corrosive, oxidizing, asphyxiating, biohazardous, toxic, pathogenic, or allergenic. Also included are physical conditions such as compressed gases and liquids or hot materials, including all goods containing such materials or chemicals, or may have other characteristics that render them hazardous in specific circumstances. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dangerous_goods If the smoke is unhealthy and the wind suddenly turns then he better have a very fast car ready. 2
arc Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 (edited) Well, I see this whole food cart thing has finally come to its eventual end result. Edited April 23, 2014 by arc 1
michel123456 Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 (edited) Yes and that's probably why the image says: "hazmat incident" and not something else. Dangerous goods are solids, liquids, or gases that can harm people, other living organisms, property, or the environment. They are often subject to chemical regulations. In the United States and sometimes in Canada, dangerous goods are more commonly known as hazardous materials, (abbreviated as HAZMAT or HazMat). "HazMat teams" are personnel specially trained to handle dangerous goods. Dangerous goods include materials that are radioactive, flammable, explosive, corrosive, oxidizing, asphyxiating, biohazardous, toxic, pathogenic, or allergenic. Also included are physical conditions such as compressed gases and liquids or hot materials, including all goods containing such materials or chemicals, or may have other characteristics that render them hazardous in specific circumstances. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dangerous_goods If the smoke is unhealthy and the wind suddenly turns then he better have a very fast car ready. "Hazmat", I learned something today. Sorry not to be a fluent american-english speaker. Not even bothered to google the word, I thought it was a toponym. IOW I was wrong expressing myself to be right. Edited April 23, 2014 by michel123456
lamironi Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 How do you spot a chemist in the bathroom?He is the one, who washes his hands beffore peeing!
John Cuthber Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 How do you spot a chemist in the bathroom? He is the one, who washes his hands beffore peeing! He might be a chef in a chili restaurant, rather than a chemist.
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