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Posted

When was the last time there was a flying elephant landing near you?

 

Last Saturday at about 2:00 AM, I swear I saw it. I was walking home from the pub... in a very straight line too, I may add.

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

.........

 

 

Classical conditioning can bring about the most peculiar fetishes.

 

r29pop.jpg



 

I just accidentally violated my science-only commitment after overdoing the caffeine, but this is it. No more The Lounge for me.

Edited by MonDie
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Breguet Classique Complications Men's Rose Gold Tourbillon Messidor Swiss Made Mechanical Watch 5335BR/42/9W6

 

List Price: $154,200.00

Price: $124,000.00 & FREE Shipping

You Save: $30,200.00 (20%)

 

51hW71tukGL.jpg

 

Useful I suppose By Kahlil L. Smith on November 28, 2010

 

As I was awoken from my slumber one bright morning by my pet miniature Siberian elephant, Truffles; I found stuck in his gold encrusted silken night cap a rather odd piece of common folk fluffery. As so not to soil my digits with this object, I called my thirty two Japanese maidens to slip my spider silk glove onto my hand, so that I could point at the button they needed to press to call my Venetian manservant Gyles. As I awaited for Gyles to be flown over from his humble living quarters to my Bedroom / Casino, I noticed that this commoner tool was coincidentally showing the same face with time as a clock I had been told of in the room on the two hundredth acre of the mansion - minus the golden peacock teeth and elf tear linings of course.


So as to embrace my humility, I had my Swedish feather fan...Edith? I believe her name was..to remove the object from beneath my poor distressed pets cap whilst in wait for Gyles arrival. As she struggled to remove it, I thought to myself: 'How curious that there would be more time in the world...and also on such a trivial creation...', I sipped long on deep on my chilled liquefied silver tea...
Finally Edith? was it? wrestled the beastly mechanation free from my dear Truffles cap, it was quite timely too, as it was time for the daily pet replacement....


She placed the object in front of my diamond lensed monocle, and then lifted the table so that my eyes could look through it. I was surprised to see that this...'watch' was quite sleek in design, and had an almost similar look to not just that clock, but also my obsidian tower in which I play squash and heli-lacrosse on every Wednesday with Bill Gates and Robo-Tut..


I was quite amused at this cute thing, and just as I was about to touch it, I was luckily saved by Gyles floating into the room on his service jet pack, to explain to me that it was indeed called a 'watch'. What shall I do with it? I thought to myself, with Gyles telling me my thoughts aloud before I think them...and then it came to me...I had been suffering all this morning looking at my holo-tube at a slight angle, because, alas, one of the 28 platinum legs of the holo-tube stand was drastically crooked. The size of this cute little timepiece seemed to be just the right fit for the gap.

Upon this discovery, I had Gyles contact the Manila military to carry out the operation, sliding the device under the stand, and saving me from having to replace another holo-tube and stand a day early. So if your a conservative like myself, living humbly and within your means, and have a stand or bed or 'chair' to balance..then I would recommended this watch. Also I suppose that ability to tell time may also be useful, but you'd only be borrowing it from me..and could instead save yourself the trouble by contacting me via space-bridge.

 

 

  • 1 month later...
Posted

This young guy moves to the city and applies for a job in a big, multi-department store. The manager asks if he's got any experience in sales, and the kid replies that he used to sell paint at home. The manager gives him a try. At the end of the day, the manager asks the kid how many customers he had. The kid says one. The manager says 'kid, you've got to do better than that. How much did you make in sales".
The kid say 'one hundred thousand, two hundred and fifty eight dollars and 98 cents".
The manager is astounded. "What did you sell"?
"Well" says the kid, "the guy wanted some fishooks, so I got them, and then suggested he buy a new rod and reel. I told him if he was going to go fishing, he needed a boat, so we went to the boating department and I sold him a new Chris Craft and a trailer. Then he said his Toyota would never be able to tow the boat, so I took him down to automotive and he bought a new truck".
The manager says "He wanted fishhooks and you sold him all of that?"
The kid said, "No he didn't come in for fishhooks. He wanted some tampons for his wife and I said, 'Dude your weekend is already shot, you should go fishing".

Posted

^#1893

 

I'm not sure how to take that...

 

Agree - either it is faked in which case meh or it is real in which case I hate it

Posted

 

Agree - either it is faked in which case meh or it is real in which case I hate it

 

It's either about embracing the penis or worrying about it excessively. It's ambiguous.

The tiger's blank facial expression doesn't help any.

Posted

 

It's either about embracing the penis or worrying about it excessively. It's ambiguous.

The tiger's blank facial expression doesn't help any.

 

OK - as a moderator I see posts that you don't and my post numbers are not the same as yours. I was referring to the hyponotism about 3 pages back.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I danced like no one was watching, but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure, and called an ambulance.

Posted

I danced like no one was watching, but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure, and called an ambulance.

And I was all like, "Are you paying?"

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