The Official JOKES SECTION :)

[TheVat]

Inadvertent humor from the Hallmark greeting card company....

[Peterkin]

How certain are you of its inadvertence?

[Kittenpuncher]

A man waits in the doctor's office for some test results.

The doctor walks in.

"I have bad news sir, it looks like you're going to die."

"Oh no! How much time do I have left?"

Doctor: "10..."

Man: "ten what?"

Doctor: "9..."

I got that from a meme but I can't find the meme anymore

[TheVat]

Not 100% certain.  I have only my impressions of the company culture of Hallmark, which seems to be rooted in a fairly conservative and "sweet" approach to greeting cards.  AFAIK, they do not have a line of naughty cards, but TBH I have not kept careful track of this.  

[Peterkin]

3 minutes ago, TheVat said:

AFAIK, they do not have a line of naughty cards,

I'm thinking more like one of the minions snuck it past the supervisor for a giggle.

The formatter and printer snickered, kept quiet and passed it on through the process.

Or even, some smartass in the print department switched off the image.

[Moontanman]

[Cognizant]

- What do you call a factory that makes okay products? 
- A satisfactory.
 

[Kittenpuncher]

Knock knock 

 

Who's there?

 

Weed

 

Weed who?

 

Weed rather you not drive by the elementary school in your van that has twenty different love live characters on the side

[zapatos]

Putin dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.

So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:

-Is Crimea ours?

-Yes, it is.

-And the Donbas?

-Also ours.

-And Kyiv?

-We got that too.

Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks:

-Thanks, how much do I owe you?

-5 euros.

[LaurieAG]

Zapatos, my brother told me that exact joke 19 hours before you posted it.

Edited May 8, 2022 by LaurieAG

[zapatos]

3 minutes ago, LaurieAG said:

Zapatos, my brother told me that exact joke 19 hours before you posted it.

Haha. Good jokes travel fast!

[Moontanman]

[beecee]

This was a joke told by the late, great Australian Prime Minister, Bob Hawke, after the winged keel Australian yacht won the America's cup for the first time ever.......

 

Edited May 14, 2022 by beecee

[iNow]

[StringJunky]

On 5/18/2022 at 1:10 AM, iNow said:

Call me thick but I don't get it. 

[zapatos]

4 minutes ago, StringJunky said:

Call me thick but I don't get it. 

I can't tell if you are being ironic or as dense as iron. 😁

[MigL]

The fact that the simple term it has to be condescendingly explained to women.
( if you're being serious )

[zapatos]

1 hour ago, zapatos said:

I can't tell if you are being ironic or as dense as iron. 😁

Sorry, I was trying to be funny.

[Phi for All]

2 hours ago, StringJunky said:

Call me thick but I don't get it. 

The meme has been around a while, without Skeletor, so perhaps this is He-Mansplaining? I got hung up on the bad punctuation.

[StringJunky]

12 minutes ago, Phi for All said:

The meme has been around a while, without Skeletor, so perhaps this is He-Mansplaining? I got hung up on the bad punctuation.

I get it now, he's preaching to the choir.

[Moontanman]

[Moontanman]

 

[Externet]

Just hold it in, fellows, one more minute !

[Phi for All]

1 hour ago, Externet said:

Just hold it in, fellows, one more minute !

This is business, special bird seed shingles for car wash roofs! I'm on it!

[Externet]

Edited June 22, 2022 by Externet