geordief Posted August 19 Posted August 19 (edited) https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c8erpgy727jo Funny ha ha (Edinburgh Festival one liner winners) eg Comedian Mark Simmons was voted the winner with his gag: "I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.” Edited August 19 by geordief
TheVat Posted August 21 Posted August 21 As I was leaving the art museum, I got arrested for stealing a painting. I don't understand. Earlier when I asked the guide if I could take a picture, he said yes. 4
iNow Posted August 27 Posted August 27 It’s illegal to laugh out loud in Hawaii. You have to keep it to a low ha. 3
Phi for All Posted August 27 Posted August 27 Got a couple of test results back. I got a 75 on COVID, what the hell does that mean?! Also, my IQ came back positive. 2
TheVat Posted September 3 Posted September 3 Four years ago, I saw clearly that this trend in jokes was coming. It was 2020. You really can't compare Canadians and Americans. In two centuries, it's only been possible to draw one parallel between them. Canadians have more freedoms than Americans do. It's because we gave them more latitude. Things were simpler 1923 years ago. That's why we start with History 101. 2
geordief Posted September 4 Posted September 4 12 minutes ago, Moontanman said: Turn the last one downside up and you have "Escapologist".(oh is it not a frog?)
geordief Posted September 4 Posted September 4 18 minutes ago, CharonY said: I feel the anger of arachnologists rising. I thought it looked like a crab
CharonY Posted September 5 Posted September 5 5 hours ago, geordief said: I thought it looked like a crab But just look at its cute little spidey-eyes!
geordief Posted September 5 Posted September 5 7 hours ago, CharonY said: But just look at its cute little spidey-eyes! Sure it is not spideation? The eyes ,you say....ah yes a bit familiar....cute ,yes and kind of ,welcoming. I think I'll take a cl..................
TheVat Posted September 5 Posted September 5 16 hours ago, CharonY said: I feel the anger of arachnologists rising. Oh what a tangled web we weave...
studiot Posted September 8 Posted September 8 Particularly for exchemist (and a few others) How do you tell a chemist from a plumber ? Spoiler Ask them to pronounce unionised 1
iNow Posted September 9 Posted September 9 Where do bad rainbows go? 🌈 To prism. It’s a light sentence, but gives them time to reflect. 💡🪞 1
zapatos Posted September 19 Posted September 19 Two gentlemen were applying for a job and the interviewer told them that they were both equally qualified. In order to break the tie he asked them both to write a short poem. The only rule was that the poem must use the word "Timbuktu". Whoever wrote the best poem would get the job. A short time later the poems were completed and the gentlemen were asked to read them. The first fellow recited his as follows: Over blazing desert sands, rode a camel caravan. Under azure skies of blue, destination, Timbuktu. The interviewer was impressed, then asked the second fellow to recite his, and it went like this: Tim and I a hunting went, found three women in a tent. They being three and we being two, I bucked one and Tim bucked two. 2
TheVat Posted October 3 Posted October 3 So God tells Adam, I'm going to make you a wife, a helpmate, the most beautiful woman you can imagine. She will be tireless, enthusiastic, terrific in bed, and never complain or criticize. But it will cost you. How much, asks Adam. An eye, an elbow, a collarbone, and your left ball. Adam thinks this over for a couple minutes then asks: What can I get for a rib?
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