The Official JOKES SECTION :)

[Moontanman]

Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,

'Hello?'

'Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'

'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'

***After a brief pause,

Daddy says,

'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'

'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy,

Right now.'

Brief Pause.

'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs
And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy

That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'

'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'

A few minutes later

The little girl comes back to the phone.

'I did it, Daddy.'

'And what happened, honey?'

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.

Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
And now she isn't moving at all!'

'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'

'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.

He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window
And into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water

Last week to clean it.

He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'

Long Pause

Longer Pause

Even Longer Pause

Then Daddy says,

'Swimming pool? ...........

Is this 486-5731?'

No, I think you have the wrong number.........

 

[EdEarl]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/971992_585197744845235_1140709989_n.jpg

[EdEarl]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/941320_582167838481559_1283226750_n.png

[Moontanman]

[Moontanman]

The human race is doomed...

 

http://www.theonion.com/video/new-wearable-computer-also-sucks-your-dick,33017/

[EdEarl]

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=601208263244183&set=a.465299380168406.106666.465298390168505&type=1&relevant_count=1&ref=nf

[EdEarl]

Ouch

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=588844707813872&set=a.465299380168406.106666.465298390168505&type=1&ref=nf

[TransformerRobot]

Didn't see that coming.

[EdEarl]

RE: Moontanman #1459

 

Evolution says, "Stupidity should be fatal."

[TransformerRobot]

[Moontanman]

[TransformerRobot]

WARNING! Penis jokes.

[Bill Angel]

 

Live cats always land on their feet. Dead cats don't. So if that cat belongs to Schrodinger it's unclear what the system will do if you put it inside of a box (while the cat is alive ) and then don't look at it.

[Moontanman]

I feel their pain....

 

[Iota]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLMww8V4IUU

 

In light of the NSA leaks and discussion, presidential search history.

Edited July 18, 2013 by Iota

[TransformerRobot]

Science cat.

[Daedalus]

How to use the scientific method...

 

http://youtu.be/LvkRUWk1kBE

[krash661]

[Moontanman]

[EdEarl]

Sometimes I think the surest sign life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has not tried to contact us. -- Bill Watterson

[TransformerRobot]

[Moontanman]

[Moontanman]

[Moontanman]

Terror of the seven seas...

 

[Moontanman]