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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 5 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

post-19758-0-39901000-1484500384.jpg

Hello, Stanexpo company? I am in charge of the Creationist convention. Some letters are missing. It is embarrassing.

Edited by michel123456
Posted

Presents a Venn digram, "Of course, not all autistics are atheist, and not all atheists are autistic" *rolls eyes* *throws up alittle*

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

If Donald Trump published an academic article http://imgur.com/BYn8rVv

 

That was the best research paper I've ever read, it really is. It has lots of facts, tons of alternative facts you know. The best facts filled with the best numbers and alternative data, but the best data... ROFL...

Posted

I didn't think Donald Trump could write anything longer than 140 characters. :P

I guess old jokes about Ronald Reagan will resurface soon.

 

Like when the Presidential library went into fire. The President was in deep consternation. The library contained 4 books. And he had colorized only one.

Posted

Just in case Strange reads this thread:

 

A lawyer named Strange passed away. His friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for a passerby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.

However, he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."

That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark, "That's Strange."

Posted

I guess old jokes about Ronald Reagan will resurface soon.

 

Like when the Presidential library went into fire. The President was in deep consternation. The library contained 4 books. And he had colorized only one.

 

I think that one was originally about Gerald Ford - I remember my mum telling it about Reagan and explaining that she heard it first about an earlier president. It's good to recycle

Posted

 

I think that one was originally about Gerald Ford - I remember my mum telling it about Reagan and explaining that she heard it first about an earlier president. It's good to recycle

lol. I just found a site with a lot of jokes about Pdt Bush. It is now recycling against Trump. Google Bush jokes and you will find it.

 

My preferred is this one: I knew it as "Bush visiting an elementary school": Slightly out of date but recyclable.

Ashcroft Visits an Elementary School

Attorney General Ashcroft is visiting an elementary school. After the typical civics presentation, he announces, "All right, boys and girls, you can all ask me questions now."

A young boy named Bobby raises his hand and says, "I have 3 questions:

1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?

2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?

3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama Bin Laden yet?"

Just then the bell sounds and all the kids run out to the playground. Fifteen minutes later, the kids come back in class and again.

Ashcroft says, "I'm sorry we were interrupted by the bell. Now, you can all ask me questions."

A young girl raises her hand and says, "I have 5 questions:

1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?

2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?

3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama Bin Laden yet?

4. Why did the bell go off 20 minutes early?

5. Where's Bobby?"

 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

 

I think that one was originally about Gerald Ford - I remember my mum telling it about Reagan and explaining that she heard it first about an earlier president. It's good to recycle

I first heard it about Nixon, and I don't think that was original. Might have started with Washington. ;)

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

A girl I used to date had a seashell tattooed on the inside of her leg.

If I put my ear on the seashell, I could smell the ocean.

Posted

"If nothing's faster than light, how did the dark get there first?"--Yeah, it's probably an old joke, but it gave me a chuckle today.

Posted

Scientists recently found life on Mars!!!!

Curiosity saw a feline creature walk in front of it while it was on the move and sent the images to scientists back on earth.

Scientists on earth were amazed! But due to the delay of the radio signals between Earth and Curiosity, they sent the signal to stop too late.

Curiosity ran it over.

 

Curiosity, killed the cat.

Posted

-The latin hell-

Two guys happen to die at the same time in their countries, Germany and somewhere in Latin America.

While waiting in line for Saint Peter to decide their destiny, they got into a intense conversation, and found their affinity to each other, having lots of fun and interesting talk.
When they reach Saint Peter, and the history of their lives examined, they are both sent to hell. They start walking towards hell, and Saint Peter stops them, directing each to their corresponding hell !
So the guys that had a very good time and thought that would continue in hell, had to separate.
The rules said that they would have only one day of vacation a year.
The punishment in hell was that every minute, they would get a bucket of shit poured over them.

So both went to their separate punishments, and after looong 365 days later, they found each other again, at recess, as their days coincided.

The German was covered in putrid shit hair to toes, complaining that without fault, every minute got a bucket poured over him with total precision and the latin guy felt bad for him. The German, found the latin guy smelling like roses, dressed in a white suit, immaculate white shirt, neat tie, well shaved and groomed, shiny shoes, a total dandy, and asked... Hey, I have been suffering the worst of the punishments during a year and find you fresh as fresh can be. What happened ?

Well, says the latin... in the latin hell, when there is shit there is no bucket; when there is a bucket there is no shit; when there is shit and bucket, there is no one to pour it on you...

[if you can refine this, please do. My English could be better]

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